From:Remember your Self

THE EPILOGUE

“Heavens, mum, you have come a long way.” Patricia, who was typing everything I had written, called me. “All you have been worried about is whether or not you were hurting anyone. Your book is very interesting and it has made a deep impression on me. Last night I felt so sad about it all. Especially because you have been in so much pain and you have felt so much sadness without us even knowing.’
We were both quiet for a while. Then I said: “Would you have had such a careless young life if you had known all this?”
She agreed. Besides, she knew that the sadness she had felt that night was her own sadness, which had been touched when she read about mine.
What a gift it was, her telephone call! My plan had worked. I had succeeded in preventing that my pain had
become their pain.

Yes, I had come a long way. I did it my way.
Recently someone asked me whether we could really only grow by going through an illness, and my answer was: fortunately not. There are as many ways to grow, as there are people. Every human being attracts the things and creates the situations that will eventually lead him to his own True Self. I only found out very late in my journey that we contribute considerably to the way in which our journey takes place. We do not have to suffer long, as long as we gain awareness. Consciousness can replace suffering.
I wish for every human being to get past the suffering – in any shape or form - really quickly and to reach the bliss of his True Self.
Perhaps this book may help a little in making your journey somewhat shorter.
 
I met people who said: 'I do it all by myself, I do not need anyone else,” when they heard I was seeing a psychic, and that later a therapist came to my bedside and yet later again I came across more new 'helpers'. But at the same time I felt that they were constantly trying to draw knowledge from me. And not only knowledge, but energy as well. That is another way of doing things.
I do not mind telling people that I have needed help along the way, some light along the path I have walked. The times I strayed into side streets, these helpers showed me how to get back onto the main road.
I am glad they were there. It would have been a shame not to make use of them. I am very pleased that I had the courage precisely not to do it alone. My experience was that, if the help was right, I lived my life even more by myself.

Now I feel I have reached the end of a long journey, I feel I have come home.
This is also the end of my book. With my head resting in my hands I sit here, quietly staring at my desk, which is just as quiet, empty almost. All the loose scraps of paper where I jotted down the sentences that had come into my mind at night, my notebooks with texts and my diaries, l have slowly processed them into this thick pile of printed sheets in front of me.
It feels as if this entire heap of loose matter has been pulled together by a magnet and structured into this one book. The image is very symbolic to me. It was I, who was lying there with all my loose cells in a chaotic pile: the result of many lives. Like in the book, I feel I have come to the heart of the matter as well. With every step of the way, from A towards Inner Peace, this loose matter became a bit more solid.
It has been quite a job, my path of remembering, of finding out all the things that I was. Remember yourself! I am very grateful that everything within me has been re-united.
My gratitude would not have been any less if my body had not been able to heal itself. The most important process has taken place inside me: healing my Self, my Being.
It does not matter whether I have reached the place of my Inner Peace standing up, sitting or lying down. What remains is my amazement. There, inside, that is who I am.
If it had not been for the presence of those loving lanterns I would probably still be wandering about in the dark. This book gives evidence of my gratitude to them. To them and to Life, the beautiful Great Light, God.

My God, I am so happy to be alive.